"Mom, when can we go out?" , was the question that pierced our minds and hearts, many of us, thanks to the COVID19 pandemic. And i...
From one day to the next, we find ourselves locked up at home, fearful about our present, our future, our health, our economic situation, and with our nerves on edge.
Like this, we can experience many situations that overwhelm us and generate restlessness, insomnia, imbalances. Many of us, feeling this way, decide to ignore ourselves, and we hope that with that, the bitter feeling will disappear, but we make a serious mistake.
Below, we present several options to solve in a practical way as a family this anxiety that is so common in our time.
If you ignore it, you make it grow
Everything you feel is important. Our body is perfectly designed, and anxiety is part of it. When something worries you, you ignore any external and internal stimulus, and you focus on what you consider a threat, generating important chemical changes in your body that prepare you to act.
The problem is when anxiety grows and grows, and blinds you to look at yourself, or at your reality in a conscious and serene way. Living every day with anxiety or fear of the future, feeling threatened, can be harmful to you.
Many people do not give us credit, and we tend to minimize our reactions: palpitations, rapid breathing, headache, high blood pressure, calling ourselves exaggerated, for example, and this does not help us manage these emotions.
To do? feel and flow
First of all, let us recognize that we live under many pressures, and let us feel with our body, validating its signals, in order to be able to fight them and redirect them in the best way.
Dr. Becky Kennedy, a specialist in these issues, suggests an excellent way to achieve this: recognize, validate, allow and face. She explained to you:
To recognize
You experience physical changes, you feel a hole in your belly, your palms sweat, or your heart races. Recognize which part of your body shows your anxiety, take a moment to become aware of that reality.
Validate
What triggers generated those effects that your body shows you? Maybe the world situation, maybe a problem at home, maybe the arguments with your husband or all of the above. You are flesh and blood, don't forget to understand yourself: “ Last week's discussion has upset me, that's why I feel so nervous and I can't sleep ”, for example.
Let
Anxiety is a friend that shows you an irregular situation so that you attend to it, give yourself the opportunity to receive it, and be ready to attend to it, to listen to it.
Now let's see how to deal with it.
Dr. Kennedy continues to provide us with eight calming techniques that will be useful for you and your family. We also share them with you:
1 Talk to your worries
It is very clear to your little ones if you explain to them that when they notice the symptoms of anxiety: sweating, faster heartbeat, stomach pain, nervousness, among others, they should imagine that a worried child is inside their body. If they pay attention and recognize him, he or she will calm down, but if they ignore him, he will scream louder and louder, until he feels welcomed and looked at.
Practice this exercise together: “ Worry, I feel you on my chest, and I see you,” you might say. It also helps to put a hand on your chest to acknowledge it with your body as well.
2 deep breaths
It could work if you say to your little ones: “ I feel agitated, I am worried about possible contagion from the pandemic. Do we take five breaths together? “. So, place your hands on your chest and belly, and take deep breaths.
3 Come back to now
Anxiety worries about the future. One way to attend to it is to focus on the precise moment you are living, and anchor yourself to it. You can, for example, ask them to notice how their body is, what position their feet are in, the objects they can see in the room they are in, among other things.
4 Find something you can control
There is much that is out of our control, but there is always much that you do control. Give yourself the pleasure of gloating happily over those little choices that are yours and your family's, nothing more: choosing what to play, what to eat, what programs will calm them down, instead of being scared by tabloid news, for example.
5 Spot the triggers
There are certain topics and people that trigger anxiety in you. List them. Doing so will allow you to be prepared and aware when you dive into the unsettling feelings, and it will give you a sense of control.
6 Schedule the “overwhelmed time”
Anxiety is there to be taken care of so that we take the pressure off, but we must give it only the necessary time. Schedule your children and you a precise time to "listen to your worried self", either with verbal dialogue, writing in a notebook, or considering possible scenarios. Once the time is up, take a deep breath and dedicate yourself to other things.
If before the next time you have allotted to "worry" your worries return, remind yourself that you will give them time, that you will attend to them, but later.
7 Recognizes 5 moments of control a day
When you feel that the crisis takes you out of your place, return -in your day to day- to the moments in which you have been able to have calm or control: while you were taking a bath, when you were cooking, when your little ones played carts, etc.
8 Pay attention to “helpful” thoughts
If anxious thoughts that transport you to the future and only upset you come to your mind or that of your little ones, turn them over with serenity, try to return to the "now", and move them gently. Show your little ones how to do it too. Remember that in our imagination, problems look much worse than they will in reality.
When the storm arrives -if it arrives- you and your family will be prepared, because they are strong, because they know how to calm down, because they are united.
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